Confessions of a Developer: The Things We Never Talk About 😅

Hey there! Let's get real about the developer life - the good, the bad, and the "why did I choose this career again?" moments.

Things I've Actually Said (And Regretted)

1. "This should be a quick fix" (famous last words)
2. "I'll refactor it later" (spoiler: I never did)
3. "The code is self-documenting" (it wasn't)
4. "I'll just push directly to main" (the horror!)

The Developer's Guide to Excuses

When Code Breaks

• "It was working yesterday"
• "The environment is different"
• "Someone else must have changed something"
• "The compiler is having a bad day"

When Deadlines Loom

• "I'm 90% done with the last 90%"
• "It's just a small change"
• "I'll finish it over the weekend"
• "The tests are almost passing"

The Truth About Development

What We Tell Others

• "I'm building scalable solutions"
• "I'm optimizing performance"
• "I'm implementing best practices"

What We Actually Do

• Copy-paste from Stack Overflow
• Add more console.log() statements
• Pray to the deployment gods
• Google "how to center a div"

The Developer's Survival Guide

Essential Skills

1. Googling effectively
2. Pretending to understand meetings
3. Making coffee at 3 AM
4. Explaining why the internet is down

Required Tools

• Multiple monitors (for Stack Overflow)
• Noise-canceling headphones
• A good coffee maker
• A rubber duck (for debugging)

The Real MVP

// The most important function in any codebase
function fixBug() {
    try {
        // Try something
        doSomething();
    } catch (error) {
        // Try something else
        doSomethingElse();
    }
}

The Truth About Clean Code

We all want to write clean code, but sometimes you just need to:

• Make it work
• Make it fast
• Make it work again
• Document it later (never)

The Developer's Prayer

Dear Stack Overflow, Please let me find the answer in the first result, And not in some obscure forum from 2012, Amen 🙏

What are your developer confessions? Share them below! 😄